whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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