i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm sobbing to NWA
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
