she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
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