she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
