I'm lost and stupid without you.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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