As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
