was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
