Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
50% drunk capacity currently
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
