so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i think i have two assholes
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
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He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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