So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
