I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Sober January is a disaster.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
