Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
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I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
so much tequila, so little girl.
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I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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