Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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