Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
