Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
