I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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