Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
