I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize