Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
