At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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