hell yes lets make some ravioli
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
