we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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