you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
