census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
