he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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