i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
