I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
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