kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
