it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
