oh god the rape fog is back!
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize