Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale