yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Why is your signature on my underwear?
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.