me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
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