Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
