life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.