Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there. http://tfl.nu/mjp7
  Replies (145) Good night (4881) Bad night (1296)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth. http://tfl.nu/c22r
  Replies (14) Good night (619) Bad night (3988)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it http://tfl.nu/8lil
  Replies (12) Good night (4839) Bad night (1008)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe. http://tfl.nu/k42a
  Replies (5) Good night (2746) Bad night (1459)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma http://tfl.nu/d8kr
  Replies (9) Good night (1014) Bad night (3360)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan. http://tfl.nu/ryui
  Replies (5) Good night (3382) Bad night (1068)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR http://tfl.nu/4b6v
  Replies (3) Good night (1658) Bad night (1087)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me. http://tfl.nu/hltr
  Replies (16) Good night (1024) Bad night (1653)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways. http://tfl.nu/pmkq
  Replies (3) Good night (856) Bad night (392)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger http://tfl.nu/q9xy
  Replies (4) Good night (981) Bad night (362)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house http://tfl.nu/563g
  Replies (2) Good night (1172) Bad night (530)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket. http://tfl.nu/g0f2
  Replies (3) Good night (519) Bad night (943)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway http://tfl.nu/aupy
  Replies (0) Good night (600) Bad night (323)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212): He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch. http://tfl.nu/d4fe
  Replies (4) Good night (1969) Bad night (396)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger http://tfl.nu/4ncs
  Replies (1) Good night (465) Bad night (241)

Randomize