Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Yes. For all mankind please do.

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  (512): The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her? (319): Yes. For all mankind please do. http://tfl.nu/4jly
  Replies (49) Good night (4947) Bad night (850)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign

  (562): View more from California

  You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo

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  (650): We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign (562): You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo http://tfl.nu/9pp5
  Replies (68) Good night (5796) Bad night (1103)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover

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  (847): I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover http://tfl.nu/981k
  Replies (7) Good night (2766) Bad night (1015)
• Favorite

  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.

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  (709): The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave. http://tfl.nu/fq86
  Replies (2) Good night (1221) Bad night (854)
• Favorite

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.

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  (606): I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm. http://tfl.nu/129h
  Replies (12) Good night (1032) Bad night (3612)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.

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  (250): I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all. http://tfl.nu/5qpa
  Replies (12) Good night (2299) Bad night (725)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Did it work?

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.

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  (918): I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over. (336): Did it work? (918): Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door. http://tfl.nu/swzf
  Replies (8) Good night (3168) Bad night (679)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.

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  (509): Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner. http://tfl.nu/7ypr
  Replies (6) Good night (817) Bad night (1458)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.

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  (919): You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again. http://tfl.nu/rhb2
  Replies (8) Good night (1781) Bad night (454)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.

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  (817): I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult. http://tfl.nu/nj2j
  Replies (4) Good night (568) Bad night (940)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag

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  (702): This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag http://tfl.nu/ygs4
  Replies (4) Good night (672) Bad night (343)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now

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  (760): Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now http://tfl.nu/y22e
  Replies (4) Good night (420) Bad night (518)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch

  (1-619): View more from California

  Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.

  (619): View more from California

  Love you...

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  (619): You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch (1-619): Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you. (619): Love you... http://tfl.nu/dldo
  Replies (1) Good night (638) Bad night (570)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do

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  (608): Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do http://tfl.nu/pe9f
  Replies (0) Good night (513) Bad night (301)
• Favorite

  (409): View more from Texas

  No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.

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  (409): No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups. http://tfl.nu/fjk8
  Replies (2) Good night (225) Bad night (603)

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