it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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