I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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