Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
