I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Just cropdusted the office
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Actions speak louder than pants.
You're like the curious george of whores
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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