in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
