is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
