You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
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i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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