the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Randomize