Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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