things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
