I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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