I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
