Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
