oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Randomize
