I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
