I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
she peed on how many people?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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