He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
