I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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