I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Randomize
