Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Houston, we have a blender
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
