I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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