I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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