found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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