So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Randomize
