tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
