You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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