need another drink. this is the easiest way
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I understand Curling. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize