quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
