I'm sorry my penis didn't work
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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