tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
