Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
