I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
