We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
